dependency makes you unstable
“Honestly if you’re scared to cut something out of your life, it’s all the more reason to cut it out.
Personally, I think if you have to depend on anything, any substance or ritual just to function or do the things that you need to do then that’s a red flag.”
I was taken aback. If you’d talked to me only two years ago, I would be the one preaching the same ideology. It wasn’t the ideology that shocked me though.
I had long ago come to the conclusion that I did not want to be dependent on anything for basic survival. Because of this mental model, coffee became an occasional treat rather than a daily drink. I strictly avoided alcohol as a source of relaxation fearing it would turn into a habit. I even debated with my diagnostician about my unwillingness to consume medicine on a regular basis, trusting my body more.
You see the core logic behind avoiding dependency is solid. It’s a great foundation for a reliable state of mind and body. If you avoid becoming dependent on any external factors, it detaches your body and mind from factors that are out of your control and therefore detaches the functioning of your body and your mental state from factors that are not under your control. It sets the foundation for a happier and more fulfilling life where you’re not ruled by your emotions or your body.
Of course, take this with a slight grain of salt. This does not apply universally. There are probably things in your life that are good to be dependent on and there are some things that you strive to become dependent on (for me it’s working out and meditating).
Now, going back to that conversation. It shook me. I began to reflect and realized I don’t live by my own conclusions. I used to. I knew what dependending on things like coffee and alcohol and social media for quick boosts of ‘happy’ hormones could do to me. Yet, with life you get used to your vices. You begin to think they are an important ritual of daily life. You begin to get comfortable with relying on things.
I love conversations like these. For the past few months, I’ve questioned my ability to live by the same standards that I used to have a few years ago. I seem to sometimes forget the principles that I believe in. Conversations like these act as a reminder. They accomplish the same purpose this newsletter does every week. It serves as a reminder of the things that you already know. A wake up call that sometimes will hit the mark when you need it.
I just started a break from the things that I have begun to depend on. It’s cool to test myself, my discipline and my commitment to my growth. I value freedom and freedom from dependency is a value I strive to have.
Thank you for the pep talk,
Prithvi
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